Suicide

 I have mentioned my blind friend and one with relapsing/remitting multiple sclerosis in other posts.  Both have interesting stories that relate to this topic.

When my blind friend told this story, he had just made the U.S. Olympic ski team.  A few weeks earlier, his school had a guest speaker who was supposed to be inspirational.  He was blind.

David and his girlfriend discussed this and she asked him what he would do.  He didn’t hesitate.  He said he would kill himself, because if he was blind, he could no longer ski.

When he was in the hospital, he felt a presence in his room.  He asked who’s there.  The figure said I’m here to see you keep your word.

David told me it was then that he knew he wanted to live.  Now he is successful in business and traveling the country with his guide dog.  Life is not over.

My friend Cyndi deals with the ultimate uncertainty.  She told me this story and it has never left me.

She was ruminating about how on food commercials the burritos were always PERFECT, but in real life, they were usually a mess.  (Kind of like real life.)

But every once in awhile, you got the perfect burrito.  She took the time to be grateful.  But there is also a sense of wonderment at the unpredictable perfection.  Life can be like that.  She was happy to focus on burritos instead of multiple sclerosis.

My attitude on suicide is simple.  I have even made a plan.  But I am convinced that I will not be reunited with my first service dog who is waiting for me in heaven.

Plus, I don’t think I have the courage to do it.  Things have never gotten so bad as to overcome my cowardice.  But I don’t judge those who make that choice.