Depression with update 7/24

 When I started this, the world was a different place.  I now think I am clinically depressed and am seeing a psychiatrist next month.  This last year, along with the daily struggles of ataxia, my husband lost his job, I sold my house (along with my therapy pool and house bound water view), my service dog and baby sister died within three days, I am not sleeping, eating is touch and go (I have lost 35 pounds).  I have lost motivation to exercise, my son has become very symptomatic this year.  I have hit a wall and  need help.  Every day stressors do not skip those with ataxia.

I believe that just about everyone diagnosed with ataxia has struggled with depression.  It is critically important that differentiations

be made between depression, sadness and anxiety.  It is recommended that you consult with a professional if you suspect depression.  Self-diagnosis will only take you so far.  

This post is more in support and normalizing feelings around this disease.  It would be abnormal NOT to be sad, angry, depressed, anxious etc. when diagnosed with ataxia.

I spent 6 months on Wellbutrin 20 years ago. It helped.  It allowed me to be together enough to make progress in therapy.  I curse the stigma placed on antidepressants and depression.

Depression -vs- Anxiety 

Depression is often mistaken as anxiety and depression often comes with anxiety.  It is critical to differentiate between depression and anxiety.  Anxiety is usually fleeting and occurs in similar situations.  For example, I get anxious in crowds.  Being in a wheelchair, I am always looking at asses.  If I am being wheeled, I am not in control.  And people can be really careless with things like cigarettes.  If it were really bad, I could take it an anti-anxiety drug beforehand.  If I had chronic anxiety, there are drugs for that.  There are also strains of medical marijuana that are very effective for anxiety.

Chronic depression also causes elevated cortisol levels which is a major stress hormone so a very nasty feedback loop gets established.

Chronic depression can also upset eating and sleeping, which no one can afford, least of all those with ataxia.

The signs of depression should not be ignored.  I have a Ph.D. in Behavioral Neuroscience and I remember great chicken-and-egg discussions.  People with depression have decreased serotonin and norepinephrine levels and increased cortisol levels.  Did the depression cause the changes in brain chemistry or did the changes in brain chemistry cause the depression?

If you’re the person with ataxia it hardly matters.

Update:  7/24 I am in very bad shape.  I went on Wellbutrin and it helped.  For a variety of reasons, I stopped it.  Bad move.  I have an appointment with a doctor to discuss my depression, anxiety, and disturbed sleep.  I can’t stop weeping.  I’m trying to find the courage for suicide.  The move affected me greatly.  My view of everything in the world is very dark.  Now at all like me.